the windows framing

your hair.


which is



i tried

to tell you


i wanted to

because i thought

at the end

maybe this would feel





i can’t

breathe easy

these days have

trouble falling

to sleep when i

want to.



drift across the horizon.



flow like

water through

the window.


a quiet nest of colours

books & blankets.


check again

for any messages

from you.


feels like hope.


feels like

hanging in suspension waiting

to fall i

wish i could forget

all of this

for a second

but i don’t.


open my mouth.


stumbling on words eyes zoning out i am drifting through the ocean of words.


i tried

to predict

the future.


but i couldn’t.


scraps of paper handwriting on your notebook.




[deep breath…]


telling you


gives me



part of me

would call it

betrayal of

a promise

that meant everything

to you & i’m

so sorry it

had to be this way

but you left me

no other options.


& i keep

forgetting all

the important parts that

i will later remember whisper over

& over i wish i could tell you

all the things i meant

to say.


& all

the flyaway

puzzle pieces

keep drifting

back together i’m

a mess of

remembered dreams &

forgotten bones.


i’m sorry. this is hard to talk about.


[deep breath…]


pencil on paper.


[deep breath…]

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