cradle my heart in your arms. cradle my heart in your arms and wrap me in blankets and tell me cat is wrong i don’t care. i don’t fucking care so crack my skull open and rearrange the peices in whatever way you promise will make me ok. please make me ok. just make me ok. because the sky turns dark and the shadows bend all around me. and my heart pounds. and people talk about mental illness like it’s temporary. like someday, i’ll wake up in the morning and not feel the small box of sadness, nestled like a present i never wanted in my chest. but… i can’t even remember a time when my mind hasn’t defined me. i can’t remember a time when it was easy. i can’t remember a time when it didn’t feel like i was bearing the weight of the scars of my family, and it doesn’t matter if you didn’t do this intentionally because it’s not your fault, it’s just faulty code because right now it feels like my dna wants to kill me. cradle my whole body in your arms and light sparks in the candles of my eyes because i don’t have anything left inside me. cradle my sobbing body because how could anyone ever know all of me and still love and how the hell could anyone ever know me and still want me because i’m not a character in a movie. and i miss you already because there was someone in the world who cared about me, and i just wanted something in my life that wasn’t owned by my anxiety.
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