treadmill

you see, i am a warrior. you see, i am on a treadmill. you see, when i look in the mirror i want to punch myself and that means faster. and faster. and faster. and you lazy asshole, didn’t you hear me when i said go faster. didn’t you hear me when i said you don’t have time to laugh. don’t have time to love. don’t have time to grow up. and how you feel about this is kind of irrelevant. because eventually, it’ll all be over. and because my head is swimming with sharks, and because i have fucking social anxiety. and by social anxiety, i mean i will stay up all night rather than risk the slightest bit of anger. and because setting boundaries and sleeping at decent times is so yesterday, all right? because you see, i am on a treadmill. and every time i take a step, it just keeps getting faster, and faster, and faster. and every time i hold my breath, i just keep sinking faster, and faster. pounding, and the flicker of pages as i skim-read harry potter. and it all just keeps spinning, and spinning, and spinning. faster and faster. you see, i am a warrior. you see, apparently i have a future. a future i’d die for.


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