a recurring issue of mine

thoughts shift in and out focus / and i can’t quite make my mind understand this and i’m so tired / but it’s 1a.m. and i miss you for no apparent reason / and i’m getting sick again / but what does it matter because in general i think i’m just a fucking sick person / and my eyes slam closed / and closed / and then open / and everything is broken / and the words shift out / and out / and then into focus / and i keep writing / and i keep going / because i have to do this / i have to do this now / i have to get this over with / and i have to keep spinning like a broken record / and keep going / keep going keep going / and nothing makes sense / but everything makes sense / and / nothing is beautiful / but everything is beautiful / and maybe that’s the issue / and maybe that’s why / i just want to stop these thoughts / and stop these feelings / so i can breathe / or something / and get it off me / get it off me / get it off me / make it stop / flick every single light in this room / off / off / off me / and make my mind get / off / off / off me / and make me not feel like an alien in my own body / off / off / off  me / and where / is / my / gravity?


sleep is tough for me. i’m just gonna shove this here in case someone reading this needs it–if you need to talk to anybody, no matter what you’re going there, find a crisis line in your area here.


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