sleep

trigger warning: blood used as a metaphor

in my dreams, there is blood on my hands. there is blood all around me. and i think the world is going to end, but don’t worry. it’s just another tuesday.

in my dreams, we run around your yard singing songs from the lion king, and screaming from the top of bookshelves, and i miss you already. 

in my dreams, i stare into the void, but… i don’t mind, honestly. 

in my dreams, we make tea, and watch over the garden wall together. because halloween. and it’s scary, but in the end everything always turns out okay. i wish it could be that way in reality.

in my dreams, we look at the stars from your trampoline and i explain the multiverse theory. and in that moment, i have never felt more lucky to be here. with you. exactly as i am. it’s a really good feeling.

i wake up at 7. and both of you are still sleeping.  every time i glance over you, all i can see is you leaving.


When this poem talks about leaving, it’s not talking about suicide, or being abandoned by choice by a friend. It’s talking about death, and death being inevitable at some point. Which is something that’s really been bugging me of late. That… at some point, everyone I love is gonna die. Yeah.

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