a silent threshold

i stood before you, in my big winter coat. just trying to keep the darkness at bay. hiding away from the cold…

my breath turning to steam. and i think these days, we both cling to things that we can’t ever truly hold.

but what are you supposed to say, when it all goes wrong? when the flowers wilt, and my hair turns grey, and you look up at me, with eyes so wide, and beautiful. and how in god’s name am i supposed to see your face and still be able to disappoint you?

and last night, i dreamt that i had once last chance to hold my younger self. and i told her to be happy. i told her to read books and write stories, and go to playgrounds because there’s only so much time left. because it’s over now, isn’t it? i’ve got to fend for myself.

and i just want to love you. for as long as i can. because i don’t know, if i’ve got eighty years or two minutes until the end, but i do know that… that you’ve always been there. and you’ve been such a good friend…

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