why don’t you love me?

i think maybe / you’re leaving me / i think maybe / floating icebergs and cloud castles a billion miles away from me / i think maybe / i’m nothing without you there to validate me / my heart sinking through the floorboards / because why don’t you love me? / vanishing into the walls with the hope i used to always carry on me /  never to be seen again, i guess, maybe / because it feels like a disappearing kind of day / because my chest is empty and the world is on fire and i sort of want to ruin something, okay / so better start with my health / and i miss the things you made me feel / more than i actually miss you yourself.

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rock-a-bye (spoken word)

Read the text to this poem here.

Song is “Old Tape Loops” by Rest You Sleeping Giant. It is found here: https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Rest_You_Sleeping_Giant/Songs_for_a_Sad_Guitar

And used under this license: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

“Wind through trees” is by spoonbender on freesound.org. It is found here: https://freesound.org/people/spoonbender/sounds/244939/

And used under this license: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/


trigger warning: implied suicidal thoughts

oh. and they say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but mine is curling up into a ball, getting ready to explode.

and the static crackles in my mind, growing louder and louder until i can barely hear… oh.

so i find myself, clenching my fists up into battering rams, waiting for the sky to let go.

falling apart on the beach in the middle of the night. or drowning in the abyss of my own fucked-up mind, pushing up toward the surface but never finding the light…


and i don’t know when i got here, but i find myself looking out your bedroom window in the middle of the night. surrounded by the people i love most, and still unable to see anything of worth left in my life.

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a random conversation with me, i guess

hey guys! the news has really been getting me and a lot of people i know down, so i thought i’d put together this little thing for anyone who’s been feeling lonely or scared or just needs an escape. i hope it gave you a little bit of peace and hope. 🙂


Song is “Sun Goes Down acoustic” by Sahara Sky. It is found here (https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Sahara_Sky/The_Long_Road/07_Sun_Goes_Down_acoustic) and used under this license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/)


and so watch, as my lips shatter into the golden sunset. as my thoughts break, glass falling to the ground, and it’s all fucking over now. so here i am, staring up at the ceiling, just waiting for my mind to shut down.

and so listen, as blood dribbles off my fingers, and my hope melts like a candle in the freezing. cold. winter.

because this. this is the apocalypse; the one we’ve all been waiting for. so take a seat. grab some fucking popcorn. and turn off your heart. and brush away every part of yourself that ever dared to think that things were gonna get better, because they aren’t.

because life is not a disney movie.

and you can’t spend all day in bed, hiding away from the reality.

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