unlikely anxiety thoughts at 9:40p.m.

what if i fall? what if the night grows taller, and taller, and taller, until the weight of the blackness is nothing like i’ve ever seen before? what if i were to crumble? what if everything i thought was true was never really there at all?

so i’ll hold you close. and i’ll try to breathe. but i don’t know what i need to do to make the darkness cease. and the shadows flicker, and dance, and they pull me in. ever so gently. 

and everything is broken, and everything is broken, and everything is broken. only it’s just 9:40p.m., and nothing has happened. but i’ll still bathe in the adrenaline until i’m numb to everything beyond it.

until in my head, i am standing at the edge. and if i take one. more. step… i don’t know.  you tell me what’s going to happen.

trying out a new format. 🙂