let’s call it a brave face

i know i can’t keep this up forever. and i think you know it, too. don’t you? because beneath this golden armour,  i’m a fucking mess. and maybe i broke something, or maybe you did, but i don’t think it matters anymore. because no amount of blame is gonna put me back together again.

i know i can’t keep this up forever, but i just want to say it was… it was good while it lasted.

and more than anything, i think i just need to be needed. okay? so you don’t need to pay me back.  because this is it. this is all i ever wanted, all i ever was. my single goal in life was to feel rooted into the ground. and i honestly don’t care right now.

so i’ll be sobbing at your feet, begging you to hold me down.

This isn’t written about anyone in particular, just some general issues I have in realtionships a lot.

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but it’s just human nature (spoken word)

“Break in the Clouds” from TechoAXE.com (http://teknoaxe.com/Link_Code_4.php?q=1118&Genre=Piano)
Used under this license: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
“Party Crowd Sound” by Daniel Simeon from soundbible.com (http://soundbible.com/2163-Party-Crowd.html)
Used under an Attribution 3.0 license.
“City Traffic And Construction Sound” by Mike Koenig from soundbible.com (http://soundbible.com/491-City-Traffic-And-Construction.html)
Used under an Attribution 3.0 license.
All of these sounds have been edited by me and are not in their original forms.

Check me out on other internet places here: https://linktr.ee/goldfishandthemicrophone
Read the text of this poem here: https://goldfishandthemicrophone.com/2020/01/20/but-its-just-human-nature/

i am strong (or something like that) – spoken word

“Prórroga de Tiempo C” from patrickdearteaga.com
Used under this license.
“Water drops” from freesound.org (https://freesound.org/people/Zaziesound/sounds/496305/)
Used under this license.
“Sounds of emei shan mountain (birds, river)” from freesound.org (https://freesound.org/people/EduFigg/sounds/454667/)
Used under this license.
Poem by me. All sounds have been edited by me.

Read the text of this poem here.

hold you

i wish i could hold you. wish i could turn the pain into beauty, and lay flowers on your shoulders and slowly wind the clock forward to a time when cars fly, and the sky dances, and we’re no longer broken. and i know things wouldn’t be perfect, but i’m tired of stitching myself together, scar by scar. tired of looking at myself in the mirror and falling apart on the bathroom floor.

i wish i could suffer the blows with you, and wipe away your forestfire tears, for as long as you need me too.

i wish i could write you a happy ending, where you don’t have to deal with any of this. because i hope you know every single day how beautifully imperfect you are. how you are so much more than any wound or scar. 

i wish you knew how much i care about you. because maybe i don’t know your name, or maybe i do. but i do know that you’re human, and you’re worth it, okay? you’re worth the space you take up. you’re worth all your flaws, and bad days. and we need you here. so please.


Listen to the spoken word version here.

ash (spoken word)

“El Infausto Ladrón de Joyas A” used according to license from the wonderful patrickdeartegea.com

“AM Radio Tuning Sound” by SailorMoonFan from soundbible.com (found here: http://soundbible.com/2099-AM-Radio-Tuning.html)

“Hard Drive Clicking Sound” by Robertv on soundbible.com (found here: http://soundbible.com/1951-Hard-Drive-Clicking.html)

Read the written version here. All tracks have been edited by me. Find me on PatreonYouTubeInstagramWattpadTumblr, and on Twitter.