acoustic version

i think that’s what i saw in you. because they were autotuned, but we were the real version. internet memes and nights with five hours of sleep, dumb text messages and yesterday’s outfit.

you are acoustic. you’re the most lovely version of a song we’ve all heard over and over again only this time i get it

and whatever it means, i think our little group feels like home to me. and sometimes, i still don’t know. what it means, to love someone for what they are, and how to be a good person, and i know that sometimes i do a pretty shitty job at it. and i know we’re all a mess. and i know i’ve written this stupid poem before, and i’ll probably write it again.

but i think we’re gonna be ok. in the end. and i don’t know what’s going to happen, but… we’ll get there eventually.

no matter how hard. and long, and shitty the road is. and i know. i know. i know. i’m not gonna try and romanticize it. 

but we’re gonna be ok. i promise.

This is somewhat tooth-rottingly fluffy, but I kind of like it anyhow to be honest. It brought a smile on my face, there really is nothing like some sappy friendship poetry to cheer up your 11:49-at-night-while-editing-face. I’ve been writing a lot of heavy vent poems too lately, and going into some really dark places, so I felt like we could all use… some light right now. I’m actually thinking about doing a video sometime soon where I, like, literally just hang out with my cats and talk about books and movies I really like and maybe answer some questions if you guys want me too.

I’d tell some really big story about this poem’s genesis, but to be honest there really isn’t much to say? I think I wrote it on a school computer, probably after listening to “I Lived” by OneRepublic or another one of those mildly cheesy motivation songs that make me feel for about three minutes like everything is right in the world. It’s been in my queue for ages, so, um… here you guys go. 🙂

Lots of love,


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february 23rd, 2020

you smile. as your fingers melt away into the snow. and as the paper flowers you gave me start to crumple, and wilt. as time continues to fucking flow.

and i’ll make it perfect. because i swear to god, i’m sorry for every crumple, every crack in my soul. 

and i’m sorry i wasn’t the supergirl you wanted me to be. i’m sorry i couldn’t fly, couldn’t lift up the stone columns as they fell under the weight of the sky.

i know. i know. i failed you, all right? you don’t need to say it again, until the words are etched into my bones.

but it’s a lot, okay. expecting the world from yourself every single day. staying up so late that in the morning, your eyelids sorta turn to stone.

chiseling away the last remains of baby fat from your cheeks with a kitchen knife and letting



It’s been… a really hard week. I don’t actually remember when I wrote this, it’s been in my queue since dinosaurs roamed the earth probably, but… oof. This pretty much perfectly describes how I’m feeling right now.

oh (spoken word)

I know this has a really similar audio mixing scheme to the other spoken word I posted today, but, um… hopefully you don’t mind. 🙂

Read the text to this poem here.

“You Can Be Broken Too” by smallertide is found here

( and used according to this license (

“Driving-Around-In-My-Automobile.mp3” by acclivity is found here

( and used according to this license (

All audio has been edited by me.

i think i’ll just go

soft pastel clouds, lonely whispers between lovers, and the sound of endless rainfall. 

snow seeping through my coat until i’m freezing cold. and every day is just the fucking same, you know?

phone on silent. vibrating in my pocket. and whatever you’re asking, the answer will always be no.

breath against the car window. foggy finger-drawings of places we’ll never go.

wind on my cheeks. and the nightmares call. and i let my eyes. slip. closed.

Wrote this a while ago, on a really lonely night.

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december 27th, 2019

i’m disgusted by my body. i’m disgusted by myself. i’m disgusted by humanity.

so lift me high above my mind.  crush up my skeleton. hit the delete button. turn off the gravity.

flickering lights. black and white. i read over old journals and start to forget the reality.

and the colours always sort of melt late at night. blue, and green, and yellow, and white…

sand i’m not even sure what’s true and what’s false anymore. So find me curled up in the darkest hole i can find. hiding away, from the fucked up beast i call my mind.

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