acoustic version

i think that’s what i saw in you. because they’re autotuned, but we’re the real version. we’re messy hair and yesterday’s outfit, and the most random, hilarious sense of humour.

you were acoustic. you were the most lovely version of a song we’ve all heard over and over again only this time i get it. 

and whatever it means, i think our little group feels like home. and i still don’t really get it. what it means, to love someone for what they are, and how to be a good person, and i know that sometimes i do a pretty shitty job at it. and i know we’re all a mess. i know i’ve written this stupid poem before, and i’ll probably write it again.

but i think we’re gonna be ok. in the end. and i don’t know what’s going to happen, but… we’ll get there eventually.

no matter how hard. and long, and shitty the road is. and i know. i know. i know. i’m not gonna try and romanticize it. 

but in the end, we are going to get there. i promise.

and hey. i’m not gonna leave you alone in this.


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february 23rd, 2020

you smile. as your fingers melt away into the snow. and as the paper flowers you gave me start to crumple, and wilt. as time continues to fucking flow.

and i’ll make it perfect. because i swear to god, i’m sorry for every crumple, every crack in my soul. 

and i’m sorry i wasn’t the supergirl you wanted me to be. i’m sorry i couldn’t fly, couldn’t lift up the stone columns as they fell under the weight of the sky.

i know. i know. i failed you, all right? you don’t need to say it again, until the words are etched into my bones.

but it’s a lot, okay. expecting the world from yourself every single day. staying up so late that in the morning, your eyelids sorta turn to stone.

chiseling away the last remains of baby fat from your cheeks with a kitchen knife and letting

it

go.


It’s been… a really hard week. I don’t actually remember when I wrote this, it’s been in my queue since dinosaurs roamed the earth probably, but… oof. This pretty much perfectly describes how I’m feeling right now.

oh (spoken word)

I know this has a really similar audio mixing scheme to the other spoken word I posted today, but, um… hopefully you don’t mind. 🙂


Read the text to this poem here.

“You Can Be Broken Too” by smallertide is found here

(https://freemusicarchive.org/music/smallertide/All_Along_the_Northern_Evening/smallertide_-_All_Along_the_Northern_Evening_-_11_You_Can_Be_Broken_Too) and used according to this license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

“Driving-Around-In-My-Automobile.mp3” by acclivity is found here

(https://freesound.org/people/acclivity/sounds/29763/) and used according to this license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/3.0/)

All audio has been edited by me.

i think i’ll just go

soft pastel clouds, lonely whispers between lovers, and the sound of endless rainfall. 

snow seeping through my coat until i’m freezing cold. and every day is just the fucking same, you know?

phone on silent. vibrating in my pocket. and whatever you’re asking, the answer will always be no.

breath against the car window. foggy finger-drawings of places we’ll never go.

wind on my cheeks. and the nightmares call. and i let my eyes. slip. closed.


Wrote this a while ago, on a really lonely night.

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december 27th, 2019

i’m disgusted by my body. i’m disgusted by myself. i’m disgusted by humanity.

so lift me high above my mind.  crush up my skeleton. hit the delete button. turn off the gravity.

flickering lights. black and white. i read over old journals and start to forget the reality.

and the colours always sort of melt late at night. blue, and green, and yellow, and white…

sand i’m not even sure what’s true and what’s false anymore. So find me curled up in the darkest hole i can find. hiding away, from the fucked up beast i call my mind.


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