In this episode, I talk the mundanity of routine, imposter syndrome, snow, feeling hopeless, and coping with social anxiety at school.

Need to talk to anyone? Find a crisis line in your area here: https://www.suicidestop.com/call_a_hotline.html

All sound effects made by yours truly! 🙂

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Okay! Music credits, here we go!
“Mimos Menguados” from patrickdeartegea.com
“1st Sonata – Snowy Stars” from patrickdeartegea.com
“SOLO ACOUSTIC GUITAR” by Jason Shaw, which is found here (https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jason_Shaw/Audionautix_Acoustic/SOLO_ACOUSTIC_GUITAR_3-11) and used according to this license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us/)
“Alone” Music: https://www.purple-planet.com


Thanks to all these amazing artists for putting out their work royalty free, it really helps in creating independent shows like this one.

internal black hole

and it’s always just the same thing all over again, isn’t it? i’m just… walking in circles, through the same forest, pretending every time that any of this is different. but what you’ve said has been said before. what you’ve done has been done before. don’t you get it? this is pointless.

because i’m never getting out of here, am i? because these days it feels like all i do is sit. and after all those hopeful speeches, and heartfelt moments, how did i become this pathetic? 

i want to see the world. i want to  change it. i want to leave my mark on the sky so every time they look up, they know they’re not alone. i want to jump. i want to fly. i want to let go.

but… i don’t. i can’t. i won’t.

This is definitely one of those vent poems I write when I’m really feeling the need to screech at the sky. I just wanna put a disclaimer on this that this is not in any way validation of these kind of thoughts. There is hope for you. I promise. Things do get better. But it’s also… hard.