better than nothing (spoken word)

Another pretty experimental piece! I’ve been thinking about working in some singing into a spoken word track, so… this is my best attempt at that, and it probably is gonna make me wanna claw out my eardrums in a couple years from now, but, um, I hope you all like it!

Read the text of this poem here.
Find me on other internet places here.


“Pencil, Writing, Close, A.wav” by InspectorJ ( of

It is found here and used under this license.

“Backwater” by Chad Crouch is used under this license and is found here.

“record end 2 (static)” is by Cambra of It is found here, and used under this license.

Sound effects have been edited by me 🙂

better than nothing

i don’t want to write anything. and i don’t want to move, and i don’t want to breathe, and please. just leave me in peace.

 i don’t want to write anything, so i’ll write you this. this depressing piece of shit. this empty list of words, clunking around my head.

because it’s better than nothing, right? because if i’m not gonna write anything anymore, then… here. have this.

 have the remains of my heart after a late-night panic attack because of course something went wrong. and of course i couldn’t stop thinking about it.

have the wind biting into my cheeks, and blowing through my hair. and the voice in my head, that just wants to get the fuck out of here.

and take it. take all of it.

i don’t think i’ll be needing it anymore.

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goodbye (spoken word)

A bit more of a personal piece that might have zero relevance to you, but I really love anyhow to be honest, for obvious reasons it has a lot of sentimental value, and it makes me happy. 🙂

“There Are Places” by smallertides. It is found here

( and used under this license ()

“crowd int high school hallway light active” by geoneo0. It is found here

( and used under this license (

All of these tracks have been edited by me.

oh (spoken word)

I know this has a really similar audio mixing scheme to the other spoken word I posted today, but, um… hopefully you don’t mind. 🙂

Read the text to this poem here.

“You Can Be Broken Too” by smallertide is found here

( and used according to this license (

“Driving-Around-In-My-Automobile.mp3” by acclivity is found here

( and used according to this license (

All audio has been edited by me.

the flowers still grow

and honestly? maybe the worst part about this is that i don’t know anymore. what’s me, and what’s just my brain. and what does that leave you with? when you can’t trust your own judgement? when there’s so much doubt in your head that you feel like you’re going insane?

so i’ll paint the sky a cerulean blue and i’ll smile, and draw stick figures and cute flowers and pin it to our fridge and be your perfect daughter, and it’ll all be for you.

and our tears will melt across our cheeks and i’ll call you, at 11:00pm in the bathroom and i’ll tell you how much i love you, but i don’t think you’ll ever truly know.

and i’ll try to write it out. i’ll try to show you, even with my shaking hands. and my broken bones. 

and honestly, sometimes all i know is that the wind blows through the leaves and at least for now… the flowers still grow.

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