and so watch, as my lips shatter into the golden sunset. as my thoughts break, glass falling to the ground, and it’s all fucking over now. so here i am, staring up at the ceiling, just waiting for my mind to shut down.
and so listen, as blood dribbles off my fingers, and my hope melts like a candle in the freezing. cold. winter.
because this. this is the apocalypse; the one we’ve all been waiting for. so take a seat. grab some fucking popcorn. and turn off your heart. and brush away every part of yourself that ever dared to think that things were gonna get better, because they aren’t.
because life is not a disney movie.
and you can’t spend all day in bed, hiding away from the reality.
goodbye. to calling it “the plant room.” to inside jokes and cult chants and high school feeling perfect. even though it isn’t.
goodbye. to somehow, for a moment feeling like the child i never got to be. naive and small and innocent, laughing until my stomach hurt over the stupidest shit. to perching contests and piggyback rides, and tu es caca eeboo, or something like that.
goodbye. to magic, and pouring our hearts out on scrap paper, and the giddy rush of finally having friends.
goodbye. even though i can still see the memories, flickering through your eyes. even though i think you’ll always be there, carved out into my chest.
goodbye. because even after everything you gave me, i think i’m ready to let go. i think it’s time to fly. and i know you’ll always be there buried deep, down inside.