i don’t want to think about it

it’s not that i can’t keep up. it’s not that i’m lazy. i’m just… tired. and sometimes, the idea of getting up and just doing this whole thing all over again makes me want to collapse on the ground, and stay there. broken.

it’s not that i’m selfish. it’s not that i’m being dramatic. i’m sorry. i don’t understand a lot of things in my life at the moment.

it’s not that i’m scatterbrained. i just have a lot of monsters in my head that really need to be tamed. and i’m just trying to get by. trying to shoulder the stress, and swallow my pride, and somehow make it through the day. all right?

it’s not that i want to hurt you. it’s not that i’m a bad daughter, or a bad friend, or a bad student. and believe me, you’re not the only one who wishes things were different.

and i’m sorry i’m always like this. i’m sorry i run myself down to nothing, and then wonder why i feel like shit. i just… right now, i am beyond exhausted.


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